Wingman Woes
by SetPhasers2Stun
Summary: Jim and Bones had an argument. Everyone suffered. Actions were taken. Spock is missing. Jim is de-aged. Strange contraption is playing a monologue about 'space the final frontier...' no slash, Time Travelers,too  please read and review
1. Chapter 1

Wingman: The Argument

Spock has 'hidden' Bones from Jim with the help of Chapel and Giotto's Security personnel as part of Operation 'Keep Away.'

Bones has been insufferable since the Argument with Jim, and hasn't caught on to the web of deception woven around him. Jim not bursting in with his dopey grins and incessant apologies was just _fine _by him!

The Argument that led to the initiation of Operation 'Keep Away' was to get Jim to apologize to Bones.

The Argument had started when Jim had callously said that Bones was not the best wingman.

What happened:

Bones had gotten caught up with a rather attractive scientist…over medical matters, (ahem), at the last starbase and had forgotten his promise to be Jim's wingman.

The basic points:

Bones forgot. Jim was in a snarky mood. Bones was apologetic. Jim didn't want to hear it. Bones had gotten angry. Jim pushed the envelope right off the desk. _Voila!_ Bones became gruffer than usual. Jim became short tempered. Spock became a buffer. Chapel became a messenger. Giotto had to send senior security personnel to prevent rash actions on peaceful landing parties…

This was a time when these two were in disagreement and everyone suffered.

Even Spock had to agree something had to be done when Chapel and Giotto had cornered him as he left alpha shift last, as per usual. So, with some maneuvering that made Bones, Scotty, Sulu, Chekov and Uhura unwitting accomplices, Operation 'Keep Away' was deployed. None knew what was going on save for Spock, Chapel and Giotto. A remarkable feat considering the rate of gossip traveling through crewmembers was faster than warp speed and there were four hundred-some _very _curious eyes and ears on board.

While Bones had been enjoyed some unusual, but _very _welcome, quiet time…Jim, however, was getting suspicious.

Bones hadn't visited the Bridge once since the silly argument, for which Jim would never apologize…because it was silly, unimportant, and juvenile. Surely Bones wouldn't still be angry with him. For once, Jim set out to look for his grouchy CMO, only to find that Bones was nowhere to be found. Odd. A quick foray into the ship's logs and with the ship's computer revealed a strange anomaly: Jim T Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise was unauthorized to access CMO Leonard H McCoy's scheduling, or use the ship's scanners to locate him on the ship. The coding was Spock's work.

Jim had set off to find and confront Spock by way of visiting every science lab, (arriving to all with a determined frown, just in case Spock was there).

Jim had arrived at the last lab and barged in when he heard voices through the doors. As soon as he had gone in, a black box sitting on the counter had flashed brightly, causing Jim to see spots. As the spots had faded, a strange sensation had come over Jim, and all his clothes had suddenly become…huge!

Jim had torn his attention from the clothes when a shadow had shifted on the other side of the lab. He had become quite irritable from trying to keep his composure, maintaining his anger at his XO and from trying to find his CMO. Jim called out to the shadow he suspected was Spock.

Having heard his voice come out squeaky and high, Jim realized he had been de-aged by the strange device, which continued to play monologue of sorts.

'Give bonesy back you, you- meeaannyy!' Said jim, as soon as his surprise at being de-aged dissapated.

Another shadow had appeared, whereas the first one had disappeared.

'Are you out of your...mind?' Growls McCoy as he rounds on Spock, who seems to have disappeared after Jim's strange reaction to a digitally recorded message.

The recorder-like device continued its spiel in a loop: "space, the final frontier..."

A/N: dun, dun, DUUUNNNN! Where is Spock? What is the recorder-device? Why is Jim a kid?

Reviews are great motivators, submit and your answers shall be answered in the next installment!

Oh and uh, **SetPhasers2Stun**, hurting people permanent-like is frowned upon :D Please Read and Review


	2. Chapter 2

Betaed by Vulcanblood :D

Chapter 2: Temporal Agent Daniels: A Future of Bad Gadget Designs

This wasn't a formal report. So, nice, new and totally-dummy-proof equipment wasn't given. Teenagers would have had better, cheaper alternatives. However, that is _not_ what happened. In cases like these, Agents were encouraged to bring minimalistic devices that would do the job and not fritz and tear the Universe a new one on a routine mission. To make matters worse, the Apprentice had to go with.

Agent Daniels had been making his report of the visit to the 'Kirk years' of the Federation, for the _third_-, not second, (or even the first), _third_—time. (A fourth mission may be in order, but—we'll, do the paper work now and save Time later, haha…yeah). The first time was to do the job and report what had happened during the most recent mission at the time of arrival in that point in Time. Simple. The second time was to undo the major changes to the onboard databases that were updated by the Apprentice. The snot, ahem, _Apprentice_ got a warning, the Agent got an unscheduled (read: surprise) inquiry for sometime in the future (or past) to look forward to. The _third_ time? Well, that was just peachy. The Apprentice, despite warnings, had left a recording device with a security measure on it (during the second time). A prank, really. Anyone that triggered the device, and any _near_ the device, would be de-aged. Simple really. That is in the future when such things are commonplace. However, as it is expected: the device turned one Captain James Tiberius Kirk into a child. And First Officer Spock? Well…Spock, had gone MIA...Well, more on that later. (The next mission (read: _fourth_) will be to locate him). But first, they had to undo Kirk's condition and retrieve the device—which was being dissected by Chief Engineering Officer Mr. Scott at the start of this _third_ foray into this point in Time.

Agent Daniels, due to some troubles with his last mission to observe the 'Archer years' of the Federation was given this "fluff-piece." To both give him some time to reflect and to punish. He had left a discernible imprint of the future at such a crucial point in, (for the budding Federation and its first space mission), in Time.

Of course, the infiltration and retrieval will be done by Agent Daniels, but the Apprentice would have to be there too. Lovely, just lovely. To make matters worse the device was re-programmed by the _genius_ little Apprentice… (This new tidbit was _just now_ offered by said Apprentice).

Agent Daniels paused for a moment and thought to himself that a vacation on Risa, (during the 24th century), wouldn't be amiss. However, he continued to outline the situation that will lead into the _fourth _mission report of saving Mr. Spock from his, (_interesting)_, predicament. Training new Agents was NOT going to be his future… Agent Daniels hoped fervently.

A tight smile was flashed in the direction of an uneasy Apprentice as Agent Daniels continued his third mission report. According to the Apprentice, triggering the proximity alarms that turned on with the device and the de-aging security measures had also activated an emergency transporter lock—which had latched onto the adult bio-signs of the Vulcan First Officer and sent him…somewhere. Brilliant. Retirement must be near, for this level of fatigue could be signs of nothing else… Further, the emergency transporter lock's programming was very poorly done, and attempts to remove it from the device had gone very badly. However because the recording function and the silly security function were both working, the Apprentice- approved-by-the-Temporal-Agent-HQ, had decided to use it on the strict-observation-only mission. Of course.

The Agent and Apprentice sat in their small ship as they prepared for infiltration, official-meddling and retrieval of the device. Agent Daniels finished his report with feet up and coffee at hand. The Apprentice packed gear and organized documents. They were to arrive at Star Base 7 and join the Enterprise crew as Lieutenant Daniels and Ensign Smith, both in Engineering. (As members of Engineering, they could carry fancy equipment, and be largely ignored by security and science personnel).

Star Base 7:

After a thorough, but blessedly brief, security overview with the intimidating Chief Giotto, Lieutenant Daniels and Ensign Smith, (the Apprentice), were assigned quarters. After meeting with the approachable but passionate Acting Captain Montgomery Scott, Lieutenant Daniels and Ensign Smith had something to report to Temporal HQ.

In (Informal ) Report to Temporal HQ:

It seemed that Star Fleet was aware of Commander Spock's disappearance and the current situation with Captain Kirk. Mr. Sulu was Acting First Officer, Mr. Chekov had been made Acting Second Officer and Science Officer, and Kevin Riley from Engineering had taken on the role of Acting Chief Engineer. The ship was given two months (special case allowances—and Admiral Pike's influence) on star charting to figure out the situation. After that time, the promotions become permanent, despite whether there is a change in the status of the de-aged Captain and the missing First Officer. End (Informal) Report

It was decided, (by Temporal Agent Daniels and Apprentice Smith), that the situation had to be rectified before lasting damages are made to this point in Time. Of course, there was also a matter of the changes reverberating through Time to their own 31st century.

Star Charting Mission:

Slowly but surely, Lieutenant-Commander Daniels and Lieutenant Smith had gained the trust of the command crew. Acting Captain Scott found their understanding of warp engines and applied physics promising. At least whatever on that subject got to him through Mr. Chekov and also through Kevin Riley and surprisingly, Dr. McCoy. (Lieutenant Smith had let the promotion go to head and really improved some of the equipment and data base information in sick bay, catching Dr. M'Benga and Nurse Chapel's attention.)

In (Informal ) Report to Temporal HQ:

Luckily, during the 'upgrade' incident, Apprentice Smith had managed to insert important diagrams and enzyme activity data. A corrupting virus was used to create, (conveniently), an opportunity for the aggressive re-programming. Within three days of finding the new data, Captain Kirk was slowly regaining his adult form through daily administration of the reversal serum. End (Informal) Report

Success for the Temporal Agent and Apprentice was short lived. The serum had managed to bring Captain Kirk to the adolescent form, while also building up the concentration of chemicals poisonous to…Captain Kirk. The serum was discontinued for the time being.

Another Incident:

It was just the luck of this third mission, to be more exciting than the last, and so more than the first intended one.

Klingons attacked, (despite the star charting mission), and injured Captain Kirk during an encounter in the engineering levels. The decay rate of the medication, (given to Kirk for injuries), show signs of interacting with the reversal serum. To prevent complications, the second batch of reversal serum won't be administered 'til a reasonably safe level of interaction is established and present.

As luck would have it, should this second serum work at the same rate as the last one, Kirk would have reached an acceptable age to regain command of his ship. Provided he pass a number of tests, clinically (psychologically and physically).

A small, yet oddly resilient, group of the Star Fleet Admiralty expressed…_glee_, at the prospect of finding fault in Kirk's performance in these tests… Hopefully, Kirk has it in him to continue to disappoint.

A/N:

-Vulcanblood: sorry for the increased density of this chapter…breathing room didn't seem possible…Also, apologies for the strange narration, with luck, the next chapter will be less dense and as flippant as the first one.

-Agent Daniels/Temporal Agent…Star Trek : Enterprise

-Apprentice Smith? Random silly apprentice, gender unknown to myself as well :D

-I may include Kirkian hijinks in an inter-chapter, not sure though…. Reviews/suggestions help :D

-Also, some of you may have noticed: I haven't a knack for describing medical procedures and administration of medication. (I'm more security personnel with future in engineering or communications kinda person :D application of gauze escapes me, lol.)

~SetPhasers2Stun


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